{when last we saw Tarzan and Wildcat, they were blundering into a machinegun nest. What will happen next? Let's listen in!}... Tarzan = "I, Tarzan, come with gift from Medicine Men Village and in PEACE!" Tuli = "I, Tuli, 20th Son of Wambi greet you. Tell me of this gift?" Tarzan = "Medicine Men ask that I give the gift to Wambi personally." Tuli = "No, Mon, you just give it to me, Tuli, and I'll take care of getting it to father." Tarzan = "You are a kind and friendly son, Tuli, but I must give it personally to Wambi." Wildcat = "Its moonshine to get the old man drunk." Tarzan = "Quiet, Wildcat! You don't know that." Tuli = "Ya know, Mon, that my sweet friend Elise, she want you to give me that gift . . . now." Tarzan = "I'm sorry, but . . ." Tuli = "you no understand, Mon. Elise, she not get gift, she get unhappy. She start trash talkin' and all dat, Mon." Tarzan = " . . . trash talking?" Tuli = "ya, Mon. She start spittin' Nines and all dat, knawamean?" Wildcat = "Give 'im the damn jar." Tarzan = "Well, if its for Elise. . . " Tuli = "ya, Fuer Elise" (Apologies to Beethoven fans). Wildcat = "yo, Tuli - how about sharing the wealth there?" Tuli = "ya, Mon. You be awright!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ {A short walk and camraderie later}. Tarzan = "So, you are 20th son. You have high esteem from your father to be in such an important position in the tribe." Tuli = "yash, Mon. I, Tuli, bene *hic* ben-fit from family trag-dy." Tarzan = "I am sorry to hear that. What tragedy?" Tuli = "mein older bruddersh . . dey starts dyin' off *hic* when I'sh bout five." Wildcat = "Yash Bro - thash the sheets . . " Tuli = "yasho yaknow . . . took dag near five more yearsh to ki . . uh . . they all die, knwamean?" Tarzan = "uh. . . O-kaaay . . . uhm. How is your father, Wambi?" Tuli = "Fath, fa . . fath. *hic* Wambi not same as you 'member T'zan." Tarzan = "how so?" Tuli = "you sees shoon nuf." Wildcat "T'zan nosy prick, he hehe heheh" Tarzan = "you've had enough Wildcat." Wildcat "DON' tell ME I had 'nuf you . . you . . uhg. Were hep-ful bush? I gonna be sick." Tuli = "yoush said 'bush' he hehehe heheh." Wildcat "murrrrrrauuuuuuuuuf." +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ {a quick jog and washup later} Tuli "yosh, POP! yoush gots u vis'tor." Wambi = "Tuli, you worthless sod! You bring shame on our house! Get out. . . Ok, then just lay there. Why are you here, Tarzan." Tarzan = "I, Tarzan, Greet you oh Wambi with gift from Medicine Men Villiage, but I do not understand this terse greeting! Is not Tarzan Bongo Friend? Is not Tarzan not Wambi friend?" Wambi = "Look, whitey, we joined the Nation of Islam some time back. Gave up the pork and liquour that White Devils use to poision Bongo mind and body. You best have something good because the revolution is about to start!" Tarzan " . . . wait, what?" Wildcat "Tarzan shay yesserday he be Batusi friend bu' Batusi have Bongo chirren." Tarzan "Wildcat, shut up." Wambi (slapping Tarzan) "White Devil best not shush Black Man in Wambi Malcom X Mohammed's presence again!" Tarzan "WTF?" Wildcat = "yash, T'zan! you keeep tha racist shiooooohIgottahurl'gin. . . blarrrrrrrrf. . . " Wambi = "someone get this man a mop." Tarzan "Oh, Great Wambi Malcolm. . uh. . Great Wambi, I come in Peace, and to honor your large but hardworking family!" Tuli = "heyth, you knwaI thik? I thik T'zan need good womin. . ." Wildcat = "F T'zan. Wildcat need good woman." Tarzan "Great Wambi, Bongo women are indeed great. Your wife must be truly great to have 20 sons!" Wambi = "Wives. One woman couldn't handle it, yyou idiot. But, alas, my favorite wife remains barren." Wildcat "Thash 'cause she ain't had none of that good Navajo lovin'!" Tarzan = "SHUT UP Wildcat! And put your pants back on!" Wambi "She get plenty good Wambi lovin', but Wambi get no son - or daughter. It is source of great sorrow." Tarzan "Perhaps Medicine Men can help?" Wambi = "no, Medicine Men refuse to help Wambi. Wambi offer half of Bongo wealth to whoever can help Wambi's lovely favorite wife to concieve!" Wildcat "Sheeeeeeeeeeet! I'll handl' it for ya, yashhhohhhhhhhhno glaaargggg." Tuli = "dude, don't do that on the fire *hic*". Tarzan "Perhaps if I could see her, I could help, great Wambi . . .for old times sake!" Wambi = "For old times sake, then. Bring out my Lieblings!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ {extended hushed gasp as Wambi's favorite emerges from back room}+++++++++ Tarzan ". . . Wawa? . . . " Chief Wawa of the Batusi ". . . uhm. . . its not what you think, Tarzan." Wambi "wait, you know her?" Tarzan = "Great Wambi, your favorite wife . . . is a man!" Wambi = " . . . " Wildcat = "Loosh out T'zan, yhey's got a GUN" ***BRAAAAAAAAP BRAAAAAAAAP BRAP BRAP. Tarzan "WILDCAT, you FRIGGIN' IDIOT! They ALL have guns! I've been telling you that for two WEEKS! You've killed WAWA!" Tuli = "yoush killed Wambi, my father! . . wait, now I'M CHIEF *thanks dude, you awright!*" King of Swamp Castle "This is supposed to be a happy occasion! Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ {survivors begin to sing nightmarishly annoying show tune"

Tuli: "Hey. It's Tarzan. He's cool. Let's party." ;-)

They have declared that they bring greetings and gifts from the medicine men. There are only two of them and the Bongos are heavily armed. Do you just kill them first and ask questions later, or do you take them to the chief and let him hear what they have to say? You can always kill them later.

What poor border security these Bongos have. Unless the coca trees are right on the border, which is another problem all by itself, Tarzan and Wildcat were able to walk some distance into Bongoland without anyone challenging them. And when they are challenged, this Tuli chap just lets them in without even checking their story - or asking them to lay down their arms. I can see how their ancestors ended up enslaved by the Batusis: they just haven't a clue. They have guns but they don't use them, they have borders but they don't protect them properly, and as savetuba pointed out in his post of 1 July, they can't even design their villages properly. ================================================================= Hmmm....twentieth son. Sounds like polygamy to me. I wonder how Tarzan feels about that? Let's see...probable polygamy, a chief's son in charge of men, coca plantations, probable use of child labour. I would guess that that the Bongos are ruled by a few elite hereditary landowners for the profit of those landowners. ================================================================= Wildcat keeps justifying his choice of taking sides with the Bongos. Maybe deep down he realises this is incompatible with his diplomatic mission, not that that's going to stop him or anything.